I use peppermint toothpaste, because it makes my mouth feel different.

I take steaming showers in the morning, because the hot water stipples my skin and reduces me to an ooh-ing, Lotus-eating hedonist. That’s different.

I blast water into my skull and flush out my sinuses each morning and light incense, because I couldn’t smell in 2012, and it still feels different.

I sleep outside on the balcony where I am a cocoon and the cool autumn air stays right here all night, because that’s different.

I watch sunrises and sunsets, because they throw a different kind of light, and every day it’s different.

I run because it makes my head dizzy and my body tingly and I can’t think straight until I’ve fully recovered, and that’s different.

I drink shit tons of alcohol because it also makes my head dizzy and my body tingly and I can’t think straight until I’ve fully recovered, and that’s different.

I roll handfuls of gifted/stolen cigarettes, because they suck my spirit forcefully upward like a yanked marionette, and that’s different.

I write poetry, because the language and the rhythm in that state are vastly different.

I lose my mind when you touch my ear, because that’s different.

I study trees always, because of their rooted stoicism and their colossal, omnipresent grace — all qualities unfamiliar to me.

I study the darkened horrors of everyone’s minds, because they all have their own types of colossal, omnipresent grace, each of which is unique and equally tall.

I open my trust out to every person, and each time it breaks, it breaks differently. And sometimes it doesn’t break, and that’s different.

I ignore reason in love and lust, because then it would be a game, like choosing the right classes.

I go on hikes because there is no time for them, and that’s how I know they’re important.

I skip class because it still makes me feel mischievous, even though I’m 22, because that’s different.

I travel, and upon moving there are no amorphous, anxious chains that keep me, and that’s different.

I meditate because I see the hidden shapes of my mind at peace, and that’s different.

I pine after impossible things, because otherwise I would have what I needed.