I use peppermint toothpaste, because it makes my mouth feel different.
I take steaming showers in the morning, because the hot water stipples my skin and reduces me to an ooh-ing, Lotus-eating hedonist. That’s different.
I blast water into my skull and flush out my sinuses each morning and light incense, because I couldn’t smell in 2012, and it still feels different.
I sleep outside on the balcony where I am a cocoon and the cool autumn air stays right here all night, because that’s different.
I watch sunrises and sunsets, because they throw a different kind of light, and every day it’s different.
I run because it makes my head dizzy and my body tingly and I can’t think straight until I’ve fully recovered, and that’s different.
I drink shit tons of alcohol because it also makes my head dizzy and my body tingly and I can’t think straight until I’ve fully recovered, and that’s different.
I roll handfuls of gifted/stolen cigarettes, because they suck my spirit forcefully upward like a yanked marionette, and that’s different.
I write poetry, because the language and the rhythm in that state are vastly different.
I lose my mind when you touch my ear, because that’s different.
I study trees always, because of their rooted stoicism and their colossal, omnipresent grace — all qualities unfamiliar to me.
I study the darkened horrors of everyone’s minds, because they all have their own types of colossal, omnipresent grace, each of which is unique and equally tall.
I open my trust out to every person, and each time it breaks, it breaks differently. And sometimes it doesn’t break, and that’s different.
I ignore reason in love and lust, because then it would be a game, like choosing the right classes.
I go on hikes because there is no time for them, and that’s how I know they’re important.
I skip class because it still makes me feel mischievous, even though I’m 22, because that’s different.
I travel, and upon moving there are no amorphous, anxious chains that keep me, and that’s different.
I meditate because I see the hidden shapes of my mind at peace, and that’s different.
I pine after impossible things, because otherwise I would have what I needed.